Bobrisky is Trending.

Idris Okuneye (AKA Bobrisky) is one of Nigeria's questionable celebrity wannabes. He is known for his magical transformation from a black man to something even Michael Jackson couldnt reach

See what i mean?

 And for those that follow Bobrisky on Snapchat, or any social platflorm at that, you must have seen him posting snaps about "bae". Bobrisky is openly gay so nobody is surprised that bae is a man, but recently, bobrisky has shown his IG followers and snap followers that bae is not just for mouth in his own case. He has posted new snaps, telling us that bae sent him 7 million naira.... Oya close your mouth now. This is no joke at all. Well, i dont know if Bobrisky is joking with us to get internet popularity but then this is not the first time bobrisky is yelling bae to everybody. Well, if you do not know, he also says his bae is Africa's fourth richest man. I wont say it with my own mouth. You have Google. He also posted pictures of his journey to the bank to get the 7 million naira.

And twitter went berserk with madness, and the tweets were maddening. All in all, Bobrisky has gotten that attention he has always wanted. Now he is trending.

And the people began to investigate. And this came out.

Observe this. He is firat parked in a Diamond bank . Then, the guy in the counter is putting on an ecobank... and when the money is seen in the Ghana has gone bag, the wraps of money are covered with GT bank... good. I honestly do not know what to say.

Dear Average Nigerian.

Dear Average Nigerian,

 I know words are not what you need, afterall, words are only applicable to those who have enough food in their stomach because an empty stomach does not listen to words. Notwithstanding, I have just a few things to say. As an average Nigerian, and as one who is reading this, you are most likely literate. Not that you have your masters degree yet or you are a professor, but maybe a secondary school certificate holder, an undergraduate or someone that falls into that category. (No, you are not a secondary school student because the reading culture is not in those ones). That is clear.
As an average Nigerian, there are a few things you are "never" satisfied with.

The Government, The Terrorism ,The Poverty... You name them.

And if you are satisfied with any of these aforementioned things, you are not an average Nigerian, or perhaps you are a terrible citizen, or just a blind Buharist. (Buharist: /noun/ One who follows the biddings of the current government out of pure sentiment/ personal gain instead of rationally thinking or criticizing it. Japhet Omojuwa is a Buharist). The terrorism, the poverty, the economy!!! Wow, Average Nigerian, as you would say... "Na wah ooo". Whose fault is it? I have no idea at all! Actually, maybe I do. Maybe we all do. Maybe an average Nigerian's problem is caused by him. Or maybe not! Because we do not know and you do not seek to know.
Come on!, you are educated yet ignorant and higjly selfish. You blame the government of corruption and insurbodination but you would do worse if given the mantle. That is an Average Nigerian.
Maybe you should start with the socialization of newborn. Maybe that is how we will change this country and make it a better place. This will have to involve the schooling system right? Great. Which government will fund that? This one? Or the next few to gain power?
Wait, Average Nigerian, Have you forgotten how power in Africa works? You havent! You know its a case of sit still or transfer power to a political son. Perhaps Buhari will be in power even after he passes away. 
I just have to tell you, Average Nigerian, play your part... Do the right thing. Do not bother others or bother about others. It begins with you.
My words may not havr fed you, it it has probably led you.

Cross Your Fingers For Me Guys!!!

Criticise Everything readers, cross your fingers for me please. I just wrote an email to Ynaija.com, the biggest Youth platform in the country (if not the continent) concerning my desire to write a column for them. This has been my dream and I pray you guys will pray for me. Thank You.

War Against Indiscipline: A Blast From The Past.

One may understand that the current president of tbe Federal Republic of Nigeria,  Muhammadu buhari has a lot of flaws, and to some extent, has a terrible history with Nigeria dating from his Military Regime from 1983 to 1985. He has been known to pay deaf ears to Nigerian demands of him as a leader, but rather, he believes he is still a Military Head of State who has the country in his palm and can squeeze it like a play dough. Not only is the Nigerian economy in shambles, the government is in turmoil and confusion. In addition to that, the government lacks brains to back up the incredible promises used by the APC to lure innocent Nigerians into voting them,  therefore the government lacks a thought for priority. One would assume the government of cluelessness could not get any worse.

But Buhari's government will try their best to proove you wrong...

Right now, the President has ( Without the knowledge of the Masses) inaugurated an agency called War Against Indiscipline (WAI), A rebirth of Muhammadu Buhari's 1983 doom-bringer. Nobody liked WAI back in the day. Actually, the WAI was the more like dictatorial government back then which made nonsense of human rights in the name of maintaining discipline in Nigeria. The WAI was made up of military men, some of which stood in the streets looking for who to dish out some strokes of the koboko to and doing so ruthlessly whenever the opportunity came. This military men were more like Ambassadors of Buhari, standing around and terrorizing the country, and this was the #1 reason Buhari's government from 1983-1985 was highly criticized and infamous.

Now the Big Cats are back, and will roar soon...

Buhari has brought them back, and this time, nobody should expect different from what we had back then, and nobody should bring up the case of Democracy and fundamental human rights because that is not what anyone in this government cares about. The government is full of people with 0% ideas, 0% enthiusiasm to move the country ahead, 0% rational thinking, 0% thoughts towards priority and 100% emptiness of brains and fullness of bank accounts. Right now, twitter is on fire on this topic and its not even those on twitter that will be affected by this, (afterall, twittizens are mostly middle class Nigerian youths) but the poor woman on the street who has no gainful means of a living, the elderly retired civil servant whose pension has become history, the young schoolboy who barely knows discipline because of the poor education and the helpless illiterates who didnt get education at all. They are the ones that will be whipped and sent to carry heavy blocks atop their heads, not because of indiscipline, but because they will not have enough money to settle the WAI officers. How does Buhari waste money creating unnecesary agencies when Nigeria is not in order due to his other misconducts? How does he even expect discipline in a country where people are hungry? I cant answer that, but i do have to tell Nigerians who put Buhari where he is now...

You Loved Buhari.
You Voted Buhari.
Enjoy Buhari.